It’s The Pee Tape, Stupid. The Pee Tape.
After today, there is no doubt that Putin has compromising information on Trump. How do I know? Putin texted this grainy reprint of the “Pee Tape” to Trump’s cell phone, just before the meeting:
Just to remind him who’s calling the shots.
How did I get that information? Russian Trolls. They’ve sprung up on my Facebook page like maggots on roadkill.
They’re working out of St. Petersburg in the Internet Research Agency.
There’s Vlad, who claims to be a master carpenter on his home page. As proof, he photographed his tools — all brand new, all arranged on the floor, sparkling clean, not even a speck of drywall dust on the the reciprocating saw. Here’s Vlad’s real photo from his Spy School Yearbook:
And then there’s Boris, who reeks slightly of Borscht and Boiled Cabbage. A real Russian fart.
All of Boris’s posts on my FB page are in broken English. Not good for someone who’s supposedly a native born American. Boris! You should have paid better attention in your Moscow High School English lit class!
And finally, Yuri, who stated on my FB page that Starbucks serves their coffee in Dixie cups. Don’t blame Yuri. It’s his Russian teacher’s fault.
She didn’t know that Starbucks has never used Dixie Cups. Alas. Poor Yuri.
So how did I know that Putin sent Trump a frame of the Pee Tape? One of the trolls, who claims to be a double-agent, told me. I asked for proof. He sent me the same photo in living color:
So, after today, I know of a certainty, that we have a President who is betraying us. Pee tape? Manchurian candidate? Doesn’t matter. The fact is, Trump is one of theirs.
We heard what he said at the press conference. What secrets did he give away? What did he agree to? In that one-on-one private meeting?
Maybe it’s time to take to the streets.